Nova 20 they/them leo I'm 67% the void personified
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Sapphic AF
(Source: magicalgirlmindcrank, via fuckyahumor)
talking to my dad is a freaking minefield. Today at dinner I asked him if he’d ever been to New York City in the 90′s and he was like, “nope. Only in the 70′s to donate blood for my mom in the hospital while she was dying from leukemia.” I swear I didn’t even know my grandmother had leukemia (may she rest in peace). This is worse than the time I asked him if he’d ever had riding lessons and he said, “not since my childhood lesson pony burned to death in a barn fire in Kentucky.”
he just did it again! I was making small talk while we were carrying in the groceries like, “yeah I have a taser in my purse but I’ve never gotten to use it,” and he goes, “I’ve been tasered before it’s not fun. Neither was waterboarding.”
wtf dad
latest edition:
me: I found a bottle of vic’s vapo rub in the cabinet that expired in 2002 but it was fine.my dad: Oh I don’t touch that stuff but guys I worked with used it to mask the smell of bodies that’d been dead for a while.
is your dad an ex-assassin
(via milesbuttshur)
I’m thinking about how we say “spill the tea” or just “tea” and how ppl used to say “spill the beans” like what if we just said “beans” when gossiping
“… and then she told me that he actually wasn’t at her house!”
“oh beans”
(via cookienun)
the real “problem with political correctness” is not that it’s considered offensive to use slurs, but that there are now many “progressive” environments where saying the right things is more important than doing the right thing. it’s why it’s so easy for abusers to gain traction in leftist circles (they learn the right words quickly and employ them to frame their own behavior as progressive); it’s why so much potential activist energy gets poured into fighting about language; it’s why moderate liberals didn’t believe fer/guson had a problem until the police emails with actual racist language were leaked. (you can do racist things, you just can’t SAY racist things.) i don’t have a neat conclusion here but a related point is that i’m so much happier since i started focusing on like, being a good kind caring person instead of trying to remove the word “crazy” from the vocabulary of everyone in my family
Just saying this is truly one of the best “discourse” posts on this site like……this hits the nail directly on the head re: what is going on with language right now and everyone pushing back in the notes only serves to further prove the point it’s making
(via bigmammallama5)
Y E A H
Man, lemme tell you, this transition was a TRIP to watch in realtime.
(Source: lazy-stars-reblogs, via dalienplanet)
today there was a “flash mob” set up by the seniors because it was their second to last day so they blasted the macarena over the loud speaker and did the dance in the main lobby but our headmaster knew about it so it wasn’t even funny but whilst walking past the elevator i found out why they really did this so called “flash mob”
it was a distraction
they put chickens in the elevator
This was wild because I forgot your high schoolers are called seniors and I thought you were talking about old folks
“it was their second to last day”
(Source: mountaindiablo, via guckygarnes)
Wait for it
Top ten anime betrayals of all time
I literally laugh every time.
(Source: frikiskrew, via fuckyahumor)
sandy cheeks would’ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch
Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this.
mr krabs would’ve voted trump
Mr Krabs absolutely would’ve voted trump.
Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand.
Plankton would’ve voted Trump.
You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it.
Bubble Bass
Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God. Dammit. Fuck.
Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump
okay im just gonna put down my things here
- Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him
- Krabs would never respect a guy who bankrupted himself four times, he would not vote for him
- Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist receiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him. Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field.
- Patrick can’t spell so he couldn’t vote for anyone
- Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate “bad words” during their campaign.
- Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point.
- Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote
- Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services.
- Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person.
- Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he’s a wealthy narcissist.
- Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote.
Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can’t convince me otherwise.
(Source: c3po, via party-gordo)
